The only thing I'm interested in during the 12 days of Christmas is the 5 gold rings. You can shove your partridge AND your pear tree!

I really struggle to remember what I have done in my life.  Anything I did over a week ago is lost to me, I may have early onset Alzheimers.  Maybe I have early onset Alzheimers?!  I think I'm going to need to start a diary/ hire someone to record every detail of my life into a series of informative podcasts. I could have a person with a different accent each week to keep things f-f-fresh! When I make it big, I will hire Steven Fry and occasionally Beyonce to sing it. Her silky tones will skip gently over the boring details and emphasize better details of my life into a soulfull ballad. Cracking!


I was still in Canterbury when I wrote my last post so I shall endevour to catch up from there. It snowed LOADS on the Thursday evening which made me feel all wintery and mildly festive so on the Friday morning bright and early, D, M, AJ and I decided to hit the ice rink hard. Took us ages to get there because wussy people freak out on the roads when it's cold, but when we got there it was so worth the wait because the rink was completely empty! Best day ever! It wasn't even one of those pathetic small rinks, it was a full size fat old mother hubbard of a rink! Pretty lucky really because otherwise there may well have been a few civilian casualties courtasy of AJ who went spread eagle on her arse quite a few times. M also had a fight with the ice and lost. Face first. Being a good friend, I took it upon myself to distract any onlookers from this utter shambles with some blazing triple salchos and the occasional backflip. Just call me Jane Torvil (actually, don't). When we returned to Canterbury, D and I decided to start watching Gavin and Stacey from the beginning. Managed it spectacularly and finished 2 series and a Christmas special in under 24 hours. D's room smelt of wine and looked a bit like a crack den afterwards but that's the price you pay for watching comedy gold solidly for a day. I emerged with a slight Welsh twang and the urge to eat an omlette! I can safely report that Gavin and Stacey is one of the best comedy series at the moment and it's a crying shame it's ending on New Years Day.


Fast forward and I'm back home in London with a dinner party to prepare for- nightmare! Rush rush, panic panic! Popped to the nearest big Tesco to stock up on ingredients. I can't have been in there for more than about 15 minutes but when I returned it had snowed about a foot. What would normally be a 15 minute dash home took me well over an hour. I feared for my life! I have to go up and down a steep hill to get to mine and in the snow it had become what can only be described as a bobsleigh run (see Cool Runnings for further details). Cars were taking it in turns to attempt the hill and the 4x4 in front of me obviously thought he would be fine in his huge vehicular and gunned it down the hill only to skid into a bush.  Initially I thought it was very funny indeed, but then I realised I was next and if a massive 4x4 can't do it, my tiny Ka was going to catapault me to certain bush bound death. It didn't, result! I crawled down the hill and went sideways round the corner but I made it in one piece. I would have given the cocky 4x4 driver the V's if my hands weren't firmly glued to the steering wheel with fear! My friends braved the Arctic conditions to get to mine for dinner and in attendance was A, A, L, S and S. We had a goats cheese tartlet with onion relish for starter, stuffed chicken, potato gratin and salad for main and L's famous chocolate mousse for dessert. Some minor calculations were carried out and it turns out there were 7600 calories in the massive bowl of chocolate mousse! A heart attack waiting to happen. Anyway it was a lovely dinner ad we washed it all down with a game of trivial pursuit which we were pretty much all completely useless at. Genius edition, just not worth it.

Yeah I'm dressed as an elf, what of it?

This is me on Christmas eve.  We planned to go out dressed in Christmas based attire.  I was so excited about it I was wearing my elf costume by 2pm.  The register for the evening was as follows: 2x elves (me and A), a slutty santa (A), a normal Santa (S) and an angel/fairy(angry?) (S).  Cracking.  We started in Bromley then headed to Croydon to Reflex, where cheesy music is rife.  Any time other than Christmas Eve I would not venture anywere near Reflex, cheesy music is my Achilles heel, but it's fun/bearable at Christmas.  We danced the night away looking festive, and most people there had the same clothing ideas as us.  There were a few oddballs including D who wore an elephant costume, I also spotted a clown, a gimp, a ninja and Jigsaw from the Saw films.  Not entirely festive but a good effort nonetheless. 


Christmas day, I was up at the crack of 8am woken by annoyingly excited sister who is old enough to appreciate a lie in but for some reason chooses not to.  Opened a stocking comprised of travelling goodies and half of a joke shop, including wind up racing pigeons, a rubber chicken that lays an egg if you squeeze it, travel soap and a fold up travel frizbee!  Who knew such things existed, my room looks like Hawkins Bazaar!  Breakfast was scrambled eggs and smoked salmon, tickled my tastebuds a treat and served as a warm up round for lunch.  As always lunch was epic!  We had beef, not the traditional turkey, a middle finger up to society by anyones standards.  I ate enough to fuel an 18 stone man through a marathon.  Note to self: must reduce calorie intake to that of a small mouse until travelling for fear of being harpooned on the beach.  After lunch was the usual, opened some lovely presents and generally slobbed.  Not gonna lie, I completely forgot about the Christmas challenge I set.  Oops!  I was too busy dominating all things board game.  Why don't board games get cracked out more often?  They're brilliant.  There's no greater ego massage than answering a few difficult Trivial Pusuit questions!  We even threw in a few rounds of charades, and I became the Christopher family chair stacking expert.

Doesn't everyone look enthused about charades?! ps how impressive is my chair stacking!?

Later on Christmas day, my Mum informed me that my present was to be a "wodge of cash" towards my travels!  Result.  I like the sound of a wodge.

On the day after Boxing day (Cage Fighting day?) I was invited to go and see the Harlequinns vs Wasps game at Twickenham courtasy of uncle A.  Not one to turn down the opportunity to view several rugby players I wrapped up in all the clothes I own and headed to Twickenham with A, cousin T and my Dad.  The entertainment was 3 of this year's X Factor contestansts, Olly, Lucie and Jamie who were really good and had the whole crowd singing sex on fire.  A lovely panoramic:

Unfortunately Quinns lost 21-20.  Butterfingers, oopsy!  So overall a brillo Christmas, but ate like a morbidly obese pig so must get down the gym!

Coming to a Thurday near you:  New Years Eve!  I will be in a hot tub supping champers for this occassion.  What's everyone else up to?

May a partridge sit in your pear tree.  Tutty bye.

Luce x
ps. I still want to see more of your Christmas pictures!