Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.

I thought I would start this weeks post with a little news round up of all the exciting stories and goings on in the world this week.


~'Balloon Boy' sets a new international standard for pranks.
~ Berlin's 'green' brothels offer a discount for cycling customers!
~ Harrods are going to start selling 12.5Kg bars of gold. I know what's on my Christmas list.
~ Leona Lewis gets a firm backhander to the face while signing copies of her new book at Waterstones. Shocking, isn't it? Anyone can have a book these days!


In more pressing news, I was at the same temp job again last week, singlehandedly making sure the majority of the Internet's content didn't go unread. I'm front of house at a business center where the majority of tenants know exactly how this place is run, effectively rendering me completely purposeless. To pass time I like to pretend I'm a world famous superstar (receptionist) when I sign for deliveries by doing huge signatures. I asked a DHL man "who shall I make it out to?" earlier. He didn't get it, so to punish him I signed his form with his own name which I copied off his name tag. Unlucky, John, looks like you're getting fired for thieving!


Most of the businesses in here are completely useless and will probably go into administration within the next 20 minutes, but the few interesting businesses do keep me entertained somewhat. For example, there's a modelling agency. By modelling agency I do of course mean one pervy bloke with enough funds to rent an office space. Every couple of hours some wannabe "model" struts up to reception and asks for directions to the clearly signposted office where perv resides. These models are not the sort of beautiful, blemish free stunners we are accustomed to seeing staring at us from the pages of Vogue, making us feel like a pig in a wig, NO NO! These are people so dumb, they will actually turn up for a 'casting' despite them looking like an acne-ridden elephant lady/man (sometimes we can't tell). I like to rate them in a strictly come dancing's Len Goodman style, as they trot off down the corridor. seVEN!!


OK, I'm not proud of it but, I've started reading the Twilight books. At first it was purely out of boredom at work and wanting to try out these new ebooks, I hate to admit it but damn it, I'm enjoying it! Next thing you know I'm going to be one of them! Those strange teenagers with stick on fangs and Gothic pale makeup, obsessed with Robert Pattinson, debating whether he was better in Harry Potter. The thing is, the story's not that good, not much really happens but it just so addictive! I admitted that I'm reading Twilight to D in a desperate bid to get help. He disowned me. Brilliant.


Over the last few weeks, especially at this job with nothing to do, I have become a bit obsessed with Twitter and it may well have overtaken Facebook in my league of social media tools. For those that don't know, Twitter is like Facebook but only with status updates. Wanna let the world know what you're doing right now? Who cares if you're only eating coco pops in your pants, crack it on Twitter! Anyway, Jack Wills is on Twitter and they must have seen one of my posts about my travel plans (which have changed yet again, see below) and they have asked if I would like to write a blog about it for them. Very exciting stuff, so watch this space!


Travel update: This is the final plan- Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, LA and San Diego! Awoohoo! You're jealous aren't you? A and I went to STA travel on Sunday and sorted the flights out. It turned out to be a bit more expensive than we had expected and I thought A was going to herniate with all the stress. She had to have a quick chat to her mum to calm herself. She then informed the poor girl who had to help us, that she wanted to die. To cut a long story short, A didn't die and we fly to Bangkok on the 24th January for the biggest culture shock of our lives.


Pretty uneventful weekend, managed to pull a 10k run out of the bag! I was watching Jurassic Park at the time and the dinosaurs spurred me on. If I ever do get a place to run the marathon I'll have to make sure I have a 'Walking With Dinosaurs' box set strapped to my eyeballs and I should be fine will probably win.
Had to watch X Factor obviously. I just want to quickly mention those twins John and Edward who form the creatively named group, as Dermot says it "JonanEDWOOOOOOOD". They cracked out their own superbly shite version of Britney Spears' Oops I Did It Again, dressed in red PVC. Just because Britney wore PVC in the video does not mean you two prats should! At first I wanted to rip my eyeballs out and eat them, but then I realized it was so bad it was almost comedy! It was worth watching just to see the judges cracking up. They are the equivalent of a 3 legged sheep and a hippo entering Crufts.


This week I am at the same temp job, great, and this weekend I will be visiting Oxford to stay with R and her family. We are going to the races on Saturday so that should be funtimes! Little does R know that I have a number of dares for A(the you lick it you own it champion) who is also coming. Let's cause a scene.....


Over and out,


Luce x