#1: Fattys unite!

I know I have already posted today but this has been brought to my attention and it cannot go unnoticed!  Behold:

Shit.  The.  Bed!.  A motorized ice cream cone.  It spins the ice cream so you don't have lick all the way round.  I mean, my God, how fat/American can you get!?  This would surely only be a seriously considered purchase by the fattest of the fat!?  Like round people, you know?  The kind of person that when they walk the Earth shifts slightly out of orbit.  What absolute donut thought there might be a gap in the market for such a product!?  Surely, the only consumer who would contemplate acquirement of said item would clearly inhale ice cream by the bucket load, so going to the effort of repeatedly scooping ice cream into this device would defeat the object of the product completely.


Look at the girl on the box.  She doesn't want to be there, I know it, she knows it, and if it wasn't for her desperate determination to break into the modelling world, we all know damn well that she wouldn't.  I know times are hard, wannabe model, but have a little self respect.  On closer inspection I don't even believe you're even eating that ice cream, wannabe model, so put some bloody effort in, you disgust me!


Oh my, I might make 'useless product review' a weekly edition to this blog, I quite enjoyed that rant.


Luce x